so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
