Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
