I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Who died my cat blue again?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
