he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
