Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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