belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
