I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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