It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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