Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
