im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
