we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
