I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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