is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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