btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
