I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
