I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Welp...herpes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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