Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
