Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize