Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
try to milk me bitch
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
