There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
