Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
