last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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