I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
