some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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