He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize