5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
