another moral hangover. fuck.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
