What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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