i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize