Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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