He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
