First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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