U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize