how can u be prego again
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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