I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think your dad took our porno
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
