that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
