Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
