i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize