hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
