Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
