She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
