He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
