why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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