Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
