No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize