when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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