It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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