what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
