I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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