Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
