Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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