Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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