you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
