Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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