i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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