i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
