the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
