they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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