He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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