We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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