i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
