You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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