Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
